Alright ladies, let’s get real for a second. You know that one guy – let’s call him Flaky Tony – who had you believing you were living in some fairy tale, only for him to flip the script and leave you doubting your worth? Yep, we’ve all had our brush with this slick, fast-talking, no-good narcissist. But this Taboo Tuesday, we’re going to rip off the rose-colored glasses and expose Flaky Tony for who he really is: a master manipulator who thrives on emotional chaos.
Why Flaky Tony Isn’t It – The Cold Hard Truth
Here’s the tea: Flaky Tony isn’t trying to love you. He’s trying to control you. Narcissists are like magicians, but instead of pulling rabbits out of hats, they’re pulling your strings to keep you dancing to their toxic tune. They want to isolate you, control your emotions, and then discard you when you’ve served your purpose.
Think back for a moment. Remember when he started out with the love bombing? He had you thinking you were his queen, like you’d won the emotional lottery. But once he had you, he started the mind games. Slowly cutting you off from friends and family, making you feel like you’re the problem while he’s out here playing Mr. Innocent. Yeah, that’s textbook manipulation. Flaky Tony never wanted a partner; he wanted a puppet.
Stop Giving Him Control
Ladies, you have the power. But the longer you allow Flaky Tony to dictate how you feel about yourself, the more you hand him the keys to your kingdom. Narcissists get off on control, and the moment you start doubting yourself, they’ve won. You think he’ll change, but spoiler alert: he won’t. Why? Because Flaky Tony only cares about one person – and it ain’t you.
Your worth isn’t based on his flaky promises or gaslighting nonsense. And as a person that has experienced this nonsense, I’m here to tell you that you deserve better. You don’t need to stick around to see if he’ll finally value you. Sis, you need to value yourself enough to walk away from the circus!
Understanding the Narc’s Mind Games: It’s Not You, Sis, It’s Him
Narcissists like Flaky Tony thrive on control and manipulation—leaving you questioning yourself, your worth, and even your reality. But, as your coach, let me remind you—you are not the problem. Research shows that 6.2% of the U.S. population is affected by Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), according to the National Institutes of Health.
That’s over 20 million people dealing with the emotional whirlwind caused by someone just like Flaky Tony.
Narcissists love to manipulate, discard, and reject their victims, which often leaves us trapped in a cycle of emotional abuse. Psychology Today notes that 91% of victims of narcissistic abuse report symptoms of anxiety, PTSD, or depression. That means the emotional fallout you're experiencing isn’t unique to you—it’s a pattern.
The Power Move: Choosing YOU
Here’s the why: Narcissists like Flaky Tony feed off your insecurities. When they feel you slipping away, they’ll throw you a crumb of attention just to reel you back in. But guess what? You’re a whole buffet, and Flaky Tony doesn’t deserve a seat at your table!
Let me break it down: The more you invest in YOU, the less power Flaky Tony has over your life. When you stand in your truth, embrace your worth, and start setting boundaries, you’ll watch him scramble. The moment you stop entertaining his chaos, the game ends.
Stop letting Flaky Tony hold real estate in your mind, rent-free. You’re the prize here, not him. You’ve got dreams, goals, and a bright future that’s waiting for you to step into your power. And guess what? I’m here to help you do just that.
WHERE TO START? START NOW!
Trust Your Gut: If it feels off, it probably is. Your intuition is sharper than you think—trust it.
Set Boundaries Immediately: Narcissists hate boundaries, but guess what? They’re necessary for your peace. Don’t let Flaky Tony trample all over your personal space or emotional well-being.
Journal Your Emotions: Document what you’re feeling and why. It’ll help you see patterns and track how the relationship affects your mental health. Plus, it’s a therapeutic release.
Confide in Trusted Friends: Don’t let him isolate you. Keep your inner circle informed about what’s going on. They’ll help you stay grounded.
Seek Professional Help: Sometimes, a therapist or coach (like me!) can give you the tools you need to manage and escape. Schedule that free consult with me at yolandadeniseco.com/book-online.
Stop Justifying His Actions: If you find yourself making excuses for his behavior, pause. It’s not your job to cover for him. Own your worth and stop enabling the nonsense.
Create an Exit Strategy: If you’re seeing consistent red flags, it’s time to consider your way out. Whether it’s emotional distancing or physically leaving, start planning your next steps.
Start Practicing Self-Care: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Start taking care of you—whether it’s hitting the gym, going on walks, or treating yourself to a spa day. You deserve to feel good.
Limit Your Emotional Reactions: Flaky Tony lives for the drama. Starve him of that by staying calm, collected, and uninterested. He’ll lose interest when he can’t get a rise out of you.
Focus on Your Personal Growth: Keep working on your goals, dreams, and plans. Don’t let him distract you from your own greatness.
Ready to Reclaim Your Power?
If you’re ready to stop letting Flaky Tony control your narrative and want to start living life on your terms, schedule a free consult with me. As your coach, I’ll guide you through the process of healing from rejection and discard, rebuilding your confidence, and finally embracing the queen that you are. Click here to book your free consultation: Book Online.
Also, check-out My "He Ain't it, Sis! Ebooks that are written to support you and your goals in getting Flaky Tony the hell out of your space, and Fixing your Crown! Purchase here: https://www.yolandadeniseco.com/category/all-products
Final Word
Remember, Sis: "You’re not hard to love. He’s just incapable of giving love." And the sooner you realize that, the quicker you can walk away from the mess and into your greatness. Flaky Tony didn’t break you, and you don’t need him to fix you. You got this. You’ve always had it.
"You are the queen of your own palace, so stop giving the crown to clowns."
Coach Yolanda
Coach Yolanda Denise Certified Focus Mastery + Breakthrough Coach | Empowerment Coach | Mindfulness Coach | Therapeutic Art Coach | Master Self-Care + Healing Coach
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